Billie Lourd still hasn’t totally processed the deaths of her mother Carrie Fisher and grandmother Debbie Reynolds — and she isn’t comfortable discussing the losses publicly.
“I got a lot of goddesses,” Lourd, 25, told Ellen DeGeneres with a sigh in an episode of DeGeneres’ talk show airing Tuesday. “It’s completely surreal. There’s no way to really explain it, and it’s so hard to talk about. If I say that I’m doing good, I’m too happy, and if I say that I’m not doing good, then I’m a mess, so it’s really hard to know what to say about it because it really is so surreal and impossible to deal with.”
Fisher died at 60 in December 2016, with Reynolds passing away a day later at the age of 84.
Before Fisher’s untimely death, the “Star Wars” icon did not initially encourage her daughter to join her in the family business.
“They did not want me to act, my dad [talent agent Bryan Lourd] and my mom, ’cause they were both in the industry and saw that it’s not really the best place to … want your child to go into,” Lourd said.
However, Fisher changed her mind after seeing her daughter discover her love of acting on the set of “Star Wars: The Force Awakens,” Fisher’s final film before her passing. Lourd plays Liutenant Connix in the movie.
“Basically, J.J. Abrams called me to come in for ‘Star Wars’ ’cause he couldn’t find someone for the lead. He ended up finding Daisy Ridley, who’s incredible actress and so talented,” Lourd recalled.
“I went in and he ended up giving me this tiny role with a couple lines, and I was super excited. I didn’t know what was going to happen and ended up going and falling in love with it … [I felt] really comfortable,” she continued. “And I came home and my mom said, ‘It’s really weird that you’re comfortable here. This is one of the most uncomfortable environments in the world. If you’re comfortable here, you should do this. You should act.'”
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